This is from a post in September, 2016:

• The intrigue of the week?  Hearing that something that I have been wanting to do for years is now being done by other staff members.  My problem is that I talked about it with people I thought were friends.  It turns out they are taking my ideas and running with them.  So they can do their gardening club and that is fine with me, but the deceit and theft I am dealing with so far this year is hardening my resolve that I must no longer befriend my coworkers and must see my time with my students as my source of joy.  It doesn't disappoint me. I know who I am dealing with.  It's more like that gnat that keeps flying in your face as you are hiking a difficult trail.  You have bigger things to take care of and this annoying little thing keeps trying to distract you.  I am also finding out that I will be pushed out of a project I was discussing with the the colleague who came up with the idea and was spearheading it.  Actually, we are both being pushed out. 

Some people think I am cold, unforgiving, stubborn in my refusal to use the word "friend" with people.  Here is an update to the above situation.  There were awards received for that garden in the courtyard.  The superintendent continues to brag about the "Unity Garden" and those involved in it to this day.  One of the people involved in it who does not know the original idea was mine even asked me if I wanted to be involved, since I love gardening so much.  I just politely said "Thank you, but I have so many other things I am doing."  Why stir the pot by explaining why?

So I am just finished with the book I mentioned before.  One of the topics was conflict in friendships and how to be honest in dealing with them.  It advised you bring up the issue, let the person know how it makes you feel, and work from there.  And I thought that was a good idea and I would work up the nerve.

Then I thought for a bit.  I did bring it up.  Twice.  The last time, I was really upset about how I had been treated by someone and talking about how I am always trying to do the right thing and not one person in my life has not hurt me.  I said to this person "Tell me about the Unity Garden."  I got nothing.  No answer.

Fast forward to this year.  I am consoling this person after something sad and was told that they were so sorry for what they did to me in the past because they were under the influence of others.  I flashed to the garden.  I just said nothing.  I have given up trying to get this person to admit what was done to me.

Here's the thing.  Anyone can say they're sorry, they are trying to do better.  That is nice.  But there is more needed.  To truly be sorry, you have to be able to admit the specifics of what you did, particularly if you are asked point blank.  If the hurt person brings it up to achieve closure, you do not get to decide to gloss over it.  Without your admission, not only does the hurt party not get closure, but you get off the hook.  That is because you want to put it in the past to assuage your ego.  Don't do that.  Address it.  Take ownership of it.  The longer you wait to do it, the more damage you do and the less likely the person is to ever forgive you.