So I have a new project to do for a colleague.  I am helping her make a campaign sign for a position she is running for.  This is the kind of think I like to do for people and for a person I do not mind doing something for.  She will be very grateful.  I know she will help me out if I need something.  Heck, she has even apologized for hurting my feelings last year.  That's a rarity these days at PV.   And she will not take up all my time and I will not take up all her time.  I can report in to her as needed, get feedback, and tweak things.  

At work, I tend to be a go-to person for projects.  Anything photo related?  Go to Melanie.  I don't mind as long as it is a person who is genuinely nice to me and appreciative.  However, there are those people who do take advantage of me.  Yet I do not say no.  Kind of like my dad.  He is the go to guy for anything and everything computer related in the circle of family and friends.  He never says no.  People will f*** up things so badly and expect him to work his magic so that they can go back and visit dubious sites with zero virus protection and then expect him to fix it again.  Too cheap to pay for the protection but they are buying drinks at the bar every weekend (yes, I am thinking of a few relatives and acquaintances right now.)  Sigh.  At least I am getting this project before the school year starts.  That was her plan.  Definitely a courteous colleague.

Now onto the problem of not-so-courteous colleagues...

We are encouraged to do collaborative lessons. I have done them before it was even a "thing" so I have no issue with it.  However, I believe my definition of collaborative might be slightly different from the testosterone set's definition.  I like to meet a few times, share resources, discuss the visuals, materials, ideas to be presented in the lesson.  That is what I am used to.  I did a collaborative lesson last year.  I was so psyched for it.  It sucked, in plain English.  I worked on so much research, put together a power point presentation, and received no response until after 9,00 pm the night prior to the lesson.  Then the lesson came.  It was a sh*t show.  I know my supervisor liked it.  But I know my kids did not, and neither did I.  We were both wondering where the collaboration was.  It was really just a platform for the other teacher to put another notch in his evaluation belt.  My students were practically ignored.  I had to interrupt multiple times to get the photo aspects of the lesson in.  And to be honest, I do not think either class got much from the other subject.   

This was the epitome of surface performance.  I do not go for that in education.  If I am going to do something out of the ordinary, it must have pedagogical meaning.  I am not putting on a performance.  I am shifting from my norm to enhance the learning experience.  I even sought this person out to have a post lesson discussion - talk about what went well, what did not, what we can do differently.  I got a quick "yeah, yeah" and heard nothing.  Now on to the issue.  How do I handle it if he wants to do it again this year?  I cannot give up a period of my students' precious studio time for this again.  It served absolutely no benefit to me or them.  But I am not in a position to say "no" where I work.  At least that is how I feel.  I only say no if I do not have the materials/resources.  So how do I do it?  Needless to say, I am not exactly the social butterfly, swigging it up at the bar during happy hour with the other teachers after work.  I do not fit in.  I am an outsider.  Add to that the fact that I ruffle feathers because I am outspoken.  I do not kiss ass and have a few people who do not like me for that reason.  I am not miss nice nice, sweet as pie, lovey dovey.  I am there for the kids, I have a job to do, and I do it well.  I am not there to win brownie points.  That does not make me popular.  

Now, someone might say this is anxiety over nothing.   However, as I have unfortunately learned lately, when I pull back, try to say no, try to be honest, it is never taken well.  I want to put myself and my students first, but I know it can be turned into something more.  There is more to this that I cannot write, but suffice to say, I am in a bind.  And school has not even started yet.....