Lacking something...

So besides this increase in disrespect towards me I am also noticing a general lack of interest or enthusiasm in some formerly enthusiastic students. I know that some are suffering from that senioritis, but I know that is not the case with some others.

In a related issue - though it may not seem related at all - I have been thinking a bit about the work situation at PV. When I started in 2002, I thought the place was great. The following year, I realized the place I thought was a cooperative community was most certainly not. I realized in just a couple of short years that the happiest times were in the classroom, not with co-workers. I could dismiss a rude student's behaviour as not personal. But how do I respond to that and other things when it comes from a colleague?

I have been thinking of this lately because a former student I keep in touch with on Facebook replied to a post I made about a women's rights bookstore in the LES. I had her as a junior but not as a senior. She tried to come to the darkroom once as a senior but never again. I also noticed a change in her behaviour towards me. Not as eager to talk to me or work in the classroom in free time. This may seem like nothing, but I think she would have benefitted from some of the programs at that store and I make an effort to let students know about issue things that may help or interest them. But I never got the chance her senior year when she finally had the means to get there on her own...

Why? I wondered. Maybe she was too busy her senior year... then another former student let me know that there are other things that prevent PV art students from going to former art teachers while still at the school....

And I think the same types of things have been going on there for awhile and still are. And to be honest with you, I am tired of the fighting for students' attention. This is not what teaching is about and I give too much of myself to this place. Hubby and I have already decided that if our governor runs and gets elected president, that will not bode well for us as public workers. We will put the house up for sale and move. That means leaving PV. But should I do it sooner? Should I just give up on that place that values those who play games over those who truly care about the students? They are not pawns and I feel so bad that I could not let this girl know about these things that could have made her feel better about herself; particularly because she had little support at home.

I just think there's more to teaching than playing games with the students and I think I need to do something about this, before I feel bad about another missed opportunity with any other students... of course, in this department, I am the only one who opens her mouth, but not the only one with this opinion... sigh...