It is Suicide Prevention Week.  Apparently there is a table set up in the cafeteria.  We are apparently a Stigma Free School.  We have the suicide prevention bracelets.  We have the brochures on what Stigma Free means.

But what are we really doing here to address it?  I want a program for all of the teachers to attend regarding mental health - ours and that of our students.  I want teachers to treat students with respect.  Do not bark orders at them.  Say please and thank you.  Greet them at the door.  Understand where they are coming from and that they might be having a rough day.  Let them know if you are having a rough day.  Be human with them.

The climate in the building is so toxic and has been for years, prior to our current superintendent.  There is no point in blaming her.  She is not where the problem lies.  We have a number of people who are on a power trip and learned about power trips from our previous super.  I tell my students I respect them from the beginning and they need to respect each other and me.  The problem is, many of my colleagues do not respect the students or their colleagues.

So the bright spot of my day is the kids.  One of the kids in period 2 last year noted that I greet each student at the door.  He said he looked forward to it every day.  That takes a conscious effort on my part and I am glad he noticed.  I do not neglect my kids.  I worry about them when I get home and I am always there for them.

But the transition after they graduate is hard.  There are promises to keep in touch and they either don't bother, they stand me up, or they start and drift away.  Yet I know there are kids who keep in regular touch with other teachers.  I think I am too easily put aside because there is no threat that I will go away.  It is assumed I will always be there.

But I am thinking of going away.  And if anyone wants to keep me in their life, they will have to try a little harder.  It wears you down and it doesn't seem to be worth it anymore.  I know there are some people trying to change the climate here.  I try.  I just don't know if it will happen.