I went out alone for the first time in a long time.  I used to do it a lot.  Then the place I went to burned down.  Then I got caught up in work and stopped going out.  A few years ago, when we got to Prague, hubby was exhausted.  He slept.  It was the night before Easter.  I decided to go for a walk.  Alone.  At night.  In a strange city in a country whose language I had a poor grasp of.  I enjoyed myself thoroughly.  The street lamps, the cobblestone streets, the old buildings, the strange fire burning in the center of the crowd in front of the church.

When we go on vacation, we are not joined at the hip.  I do my thing, he does his.  He does not really like going to art museums anymore, so I do that solo.  I don't bring my bike, so he bikes solo.  It works.  I hate being tied down to things and people.So last night, as I am walking to my car and driving home, I felt a little bit of my old self coming back.  I let work suck me in so much the past few years and this solitude was a nice return to old feelings.  I might have been surrounded by blaring sirens, ambulances racing like crazy (were those people surrounding a person on the sidewalk?), but I was totally comfortable.  As a matter of fact, being in familiar or strange cities, alone, at night is invigorating.  I am absolutely comfortable in my skin when wandering...  The only city I have ever been to that I would never walk around alone at night would be New Orleans.  Whoa.  Love, love, love the place, but sooooo dangerous.  You can feel the danger crawling on your skin... Or is that the sweat dripping from the humidity?

So why bother writing this on a work blog?  Because most of my kids - or any kids where I work - do not want to step out of a comfort zone.  They are afraid of Paterson.  They shiver when Newark is mentioned.  They allow their prejudices to keep them in their bubbles.  Those bubbles allow them to keep the ideas and stereotypes they grow up with.  A woman going out alone?  At night?  No.  She should be home with the husband and babies.  A trip to a foreign country with no connection to one's heritage?  Hell no.

While I have been having a very hard time in some ways in recent months, last night's trip home was good.  I also had a longish talk with someone about living an unconventional life.   I try to teach my students about how to break out of their bubbles all the time.  They are probably sick of me telling them to do things differently, but I will keep trying....