I am reading a couple of older books right now.  I am also sucked in by Masterpiece's "Poldark."  What the heck do these things have in common?  Writing and speaking.  I have found that when watching contemporary television, I get miffed when I see a character texting too often.  Kind of how I am not fond of texting/facebook messaging as the main form of communication with my friends.  When I watch or read a period piece, I get a twinge of excitement when there is a scene with letter writing, visiting, meeting up and speaking face to face.

I get such a thrill from the face-to-face time with my students.  I might get to work at the ass crack of dawn to get work done, but there is another reason.  I like being there for my kids.If someone wants to talk, I am there.  The kids must know this.  Only once have I had a long, in depth e-mail conversation, and that was probably because it was Spring vacation.  All other times students needed to talk, they e-mail me to see if I will be in so we can speak.  I like that.  The kids like it too.  I hear them talk about the teachers they love.  There is one particular teacher a lot of kids love.  She might not be well liked by some of my colleagues, but I have a great deal of respect for her.  Students know that she is there for them 100%.  If they need someone to listen to them during a hard period, she will make the time.  She makes them feel they are being listened to.  She gives them advice with love and sincerity.  They know that.  They appreciate it.  And from what I can see, years down the road, she still cares for them.

Now, there is a man who the kids thought was like that.  The kids thought he was there for them....  But the sad thing was that I knew otherwise.  On lunch duty one day, we're talking about that year's upcoming graduation.  He proudly stated that when the kids say they'll miss him, he says he will too but doesn't mean it.  He can't wait until they are gone.  He was proud of the fact that he has no interest in keeping in touch with them.  The kids still have no idea. When it was announced he was leaving, kids were bummed.  I didn't want to be the one to burst their bubble.  I just nodded.

Why is this on my mind?  It's summer for god's sake.  Well, last week I spent a great deal of time messaging with former students - portfolio ideas and feedback, trying to schedule a coffee date to discuss life, etc..  I like keeping in touch with my former students because I care about them and their successes and want to continue to help them through their struggles.  When you think there is a person in your life who is there for you, someone you think you can talk to, and then you find out it was all superficial, well, that hurts.  

I do not want to ever be that person to my students.  Hell, I have had heart-to-heart talks with kids that I have never even taught.  I do not ever want to be that person to a friend either.  I have that happen too often.  It is why I seek and cherish speaking to and being with a friend over typing words back and forth.  The beauty of the typed word is that there is no emotional investment.  There is no inflection.  There is no risk of seeing the reaction of your recipient.  You type it, you send it, and you wash your hands of the whole matter.  You can hurt a person and claim ignorance.  You didn't see or hear the reaction, therefore, it did not happen.  You can claim your words were misunderstood.  The joke was not received well.  

But here's the other thing. without that human contact, the positive responses are missed.  The happiness in a person's voice when they hear your voice on the other end of the phone...  The way a person lights up when you meet for coffee or something....  Having a friend over for a chat...  I wonder if the students - or my peers for that matter - are losing touch with this.  I don't think they recognize the value of human contact.  Because texts do not a friendship make.  So I make sure I am physically there for them as possible.  Not just an e-mail address.  I want them to know that the human contact is necessary and beneficial.