There is a tightness in my chest and I fear it will be here for the whole week.  We are jumping through hoops here doing what we can to make the program last, knowing it might all be futile.  Yesterday, I took my first day off to go to Rutgers to take part in an informal talk about Feminism and the organization I am the chair of.  I thought all was ok because I was the specific one asked to participate.  However, during an executive committee phone call meeting last night, I was given the impression that I should have deferred to someone else.  It was not until I clarified that it was about feminism and a woman's perspective that the accuser relented.  I had to clarify that this was not a talk about the organization and it's presence on college campuses.  However, I would like to point out that the individual who is our college point person is MIA much of the time - not on phone calls, rarely comes to meetings.  Yet, I do not get snippy.  I note that he does a good job when I am contacted by college students about starting a branch of our organization on campus.  But I am the one who slipped up.

Then I am given the impression that I should be getting membership updates on a bi-weekly basis.  I get the feeling that every idea that this couple of members have is discussed at length as a failing on my part instead of just simply making the suggestion to me as they come up with it.

No offense, but I do not have a job in which I can just sit around all day contemplating the fate of the organization.  I am teaching all day and even dealing with school stuff into the night.  I am not commuting on a train or bus and able to do organization stuff on my commute.  Hell, I have kids with me each and every lunch period.  I barely have time to take a piss.

Someone might point out that I am going clubbing every week and yes, I am.  But am I supposed to give up all my free time for the organization?  No.  I was told that I should delegate and that is what I am trying to do.  Have others take care of things.  I do not do the social media stuff because we have an elected person in charge of that.  He doesn't do a great job with the facebook stuff, but when I hinted at that, I got nowhere. I refuse to give every minute of my free time because I know I will burn out.  I saw that happen with one of our elected officials last year and he is slipping in his volunteer activities right now, even though he is not elected.

Another point of contention:  There is apparently a problem if I find a meeting location that is not 100% accessible but the branch has had meetings in a building that is not accessible.  I feel I can do nothing right as of right now and after I encounter this one (and sometimes one other) person, I want to quit.

Luckily for me I had a friend contact me yesterday after we hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks.  He was "poking the bear" - aka getting a rise out of a mutual acquaintance online - and we chatted on and off all day, just like old times.  I will see him Saturday night and I cannot wait.  I also chatted with a new friend into the night and it all made me feel better.

Than I came to work and saw my substitute did not hand out the sheets for my students to work on yesterday.  Aggravation.  And I will be here until 9.00 pm tonight for an open house.  And I am having phone problems.  And I got an email at 6.30 from my least favourite member about sending out an email.  So while I breathed easy last night after an aggravating phone call, the tightness is back.

I want to cry or punch a wall.