I took a break from writing.  There are two reasons.  The first one is that I was very busy at work and in my personal life.  I hold an office in two organizations out of work.  I also was having such a wonderful year with students in my room so often that I needed to let something go and it wasn't going to be the kids or the grading.  It was the blogging.  The second reason I stopped was because of one person who I believe was reading this and then trying to kiss my ass by relating to me with similar issues.

I had a bit of an issue in one of my classes this year.  I hope to keep in touch with most of my students after they graduate, and many times that happens.  I rarely try to make the contact with them, leaving that choice up to them.  This is because I couldn't presume they want to keep in touch with me, even if they claimed so while they had me as their teacher.  When they do contact me - via social media or e-mail - my heart skips a beat.  However, there have been two students in the past that I will never allow to have contact with me ever again.  One is someone who submitted a filthy thing about another teacher in the yearbook and then denied it to me and my staff.  I was not the only teacher that thought this kid might end up as a sexual predator some day.  The other is a student who treated his classmates and me like we were beneath him - all because he got into a photo school that told him he did not need me anymore.  Students can treat me like dirt and I forgive them (Heck, I have forgiven the kids who threatened me with harm) but once you treat your peers in a demeaning manner, that's it.  He tried to apologize twice after graduation, but I didn't have the stomach for it.

Now I will add two more to that list.  To say the past year's politics brought the ugly out is an understatement.  As a teacher, my politics are secret and I treat each student equally regardless of their politics.  However, I had two students who behaved and talked in such a manner that I could not ignore it.  I knew the situation with one of them when he ended up in my class.  He then targeted a weaker link to bring him over to his side.  Neither worked very much, choosing to plot and complain most of the time.  However, their behaviour was offensive to many of their classmates and quite hurtful to a couple of ladies.  When I came up with how to deal with them, I had to do it with a plan and carefully.  You see, expecting a certain atmosphere of respect for each other in the classroom is now "political."  I had to buy into everything they said in their effort to kiss up to me from day one.  The kid who was pulling information from this blog would try to tell me stories about home that were just like events or incidents I would relay in my posts.  I would pretend to be sympathetic.  But there came a point when the comments were just too much.  I gave an angry response.  I know I did the right thing because afterwards, many kids from the class thanked me.

They tried to report me to "administration" for "forcing [my] political beliefs" on them.  If respect and courtesy are political, so be it.  However, there are students in other classes with some similar beliefs as them now and in the past and I never had an issue with them.  So to say I am glad to be rid of them is an understatement.  It is a wonderful feeling.

Now on to the bad stuff....

This was the best year of my teaching career.  The majority of the students were creative, hard-working, and inspiring.  I absolutely enjoyed getting to know them.  One referred to me as a friend and I had to correct him (colleague in the room) but this was one of those rare times that I thought "Yeah, I like you guys so much that I like that you consider me a friend"  If I was in high school, these are the kinds of people I would wish I could be friends with - from afar, way over in the corner, afraid to approach them, of course.  It broke my heart when one sophomore asked if she could have my number to keep in touch over the summer and I had to say no.  I don't just have a teacher/learner relationship with these kids.  We talk about so many other things that it goes far beyond that.  I say "You can e-mail me" but they rarely do.  When we see each other in September, I will be so happy.

But there are a lot I will not see in September because they graduated.  They talk of keeping in touch, but I don't hold out hope. On the rare occasion I try to reach out to people, I experience rejection, so I will not do that anymore.  But I love and care about these young people so much.  I know I am not the only teacher in my building that does.  We are a very small minority.  I miss them.  It feels like my heart has been ripped out.  When you have an art class, the feelings and emotions are more intense.  It could be due to the creation and communication inherent in a project.  It could be due to the intensity of the learning process and the excitement of success.  This was in intense year for me considering the depressing shit-show that was the previous year.  These kids were a gift and I feel like I lost it.  I am sad but there is nothing I can do but hope they are doing OK and might want to stay in my life and want me in theirs.