A little gripe...  It is not as if a relative will read this... So here it goes.

I grew up with an Italian mother and Hungarian father.  Most of the Hungarians are dead.  So the Italian half is all we knew, for the most part.  Family was always shoved down our throats.  My sister and I were always made to feel we should go to every single event, deal with any kind of attitude dished out to us by cousins, smile and brush it all off.  We were never to cut anyone out of our lives because blood is important. Family meant more than friends.

I would guess half the family are still in Italy.  I am a first generation American as are all my cousins on my mother's side.  They constantly post all this mushy stuff online about family this and cousins that.  I am not that type, far from mushy.  They have big houses and expensive cars, and presumably the money for them.

Today, my cousin P returns to Italy after 10 days with my parents.  I socialized with her as much as I could, as did my sister.  We met her for dinner her first day here and I just saw her off, besides doing other things.  The only time I met her before this was at her parents' house when I visited Italy with my parents.  We scrimp and save to visit family.  I am sad that she will be gone and sad that her English is so good!  I wanted to practice Italian.

Here's the part I am bothered about - The cousins who have always sneered at my sister and I for not measuring up, being the same as them, and so on, could not even bother to see P.   One relative had a gathering at his house to have everyone meet her.  Those who showed up ignored her.  Many couldn't bother to show up.  My parents had a gathering too.  Same thing.

At some point, I gave up caring what others thought of me.  I think sister did too.  My mother stopped hassling me about being like all the others.  Last week she called to thank me for being the way I am.  I may not be touchy-feely, wear emotions on my sleeve, try to be everyone's best friend.  But I am loyal and respectful to those who treat me the same.  Sister and I are the only ones of our age group and younger who bothered to see P at all. And when saying goodbye to her today, I got such a warm, enthusiastic hug.   And I will do what I can to make sure I get back to Italy to see her and her parents again too.  Because that is better than some crappy large new home or a Mercedes.

So when my students feel like they aren't appreciated, or are misread, or don't fit in, I just tell them to be who they are.  Do not hurt people's feelings, be respectful, but be yourself.  It might take over 30 years, but someone will notice, and you will be thanked and appreciated.

I have chosen to read only the "National Socialism" section of the book on Fascism that I am digging into.  The author makes it quite clear that Marxism and your basic Socialism are clearly not the same as National Socialism.   However, as I read, I keep thinking of how so many people lump Socialism, Fascism, Communism, et al together and act as if they are all the same.  As a high school student, I knew they were not the same but I can't for the life of me remember how I gained that knowledge.  It must have been a combination of school and independent reading.  Now, do the kids today know the differences?  Hardly.  I hear so many adults use the terms interchangeably, and the kids learn from that.  When I talk to friends about a political topic, they wonder how I know.  I show or tell them of the sources, and they are surprised that this information is out there.

So where is this heading?  When I was with family in France, we were all able to have conversations about issues of a social or political nature and no one at the table seemed clueless.  I remember one cousin in particular nodding knowingly and taking part.  She is not yet 20.  Were we all in agreement?  I don't think so.  Did we all have something to contribute to the discussion?  Yes.

I get very frustrated with peers when they make assumptions with nothing concrete to back them up.  It is not a snob thing.  If others in this world can stay well informed, why can't they?  I don't give a crap about the new reality show drivel or what celebrity is in a new scandal.  Sure, there is a role for escapist entertainment, but to what end?  I don't want my students to get stuck in this hole of ignorance.  I wish I could fit in all the educating I want in my classes.  I want to present so much information from all sides, but there just is no simple way to do that.  With my subject matter, there is so much ground I could cover, historically, politically, socially, culturally.  But there is not enough time and not enough interest...

I do keep trying though.  A girl I had many years ago has let me know a couple of times this summer that she wants me to keep on teaching the way I taught her.  She said that my topics and methods helped her learn things others never dared touch.  She has a great deal of respect for me because of that.  It made me feel like I should keep on trying to help my kids be more worldly...

August..

I am not happy with this weather, not one bit.  We have not even had to install the two window air conditioning units this summer.  And we rarely even need to use the ceiling fans.  I like being able to garden for a couple of hours, sweat my butt off, then jump directly into the pool.  It just has not been that hot.  I need 90+ degree days!  I guess that's why I haven't played much music too.  Music and mood and seasons all go together for me and this summer has not been normal.  However, yesterday was Duran Duran Appreciation Day, and so I played a bunch.  There is just too much to play in one day, so I will continue spinning the vinyl today.  Such fabulous music....  My kids know all about this obsession... One dad even found some Duran Duran pins at the dump two years ago and gifted them to me!  I squealed like a little piggy...

A cousin from Italy is here.  My parents are picking her up in NYC tonight.  She took an engineering workshop in Detroit and has added some time to her trip to visit with family.  I thought she might have picked up more English since the time I met her, but mother said no.  Fabulous!  That means - hopefully - that I can learn from her.  I want to learn enough to speak some, not just hear and translate in my head.  I have been trying to learn Hungarian, really trying.  But it is so damn hard.  When they say it is one of the hardest languages to learn, they are not kidding.  Oof....

I have been back to doing some art.  Art Day with my friend has motivated me.  I cast some bugs in resin, have been taking pictures with a medium format film camera, and have some ideas buzzing around.  On top of all that, I started the genealogical research again.  It all started with dinner with the in-laws.  Hubby's mom mentioned trying to look up some Irish relative from the 1800's.  Naturally, I offered to look her up.  And one thing lead to another, and I currently have five tabs on my computer open for her Irish stuff and my Hungarian stuff.  It is so much fun, but also like finding a needle in a haystack.  So if I ever need to change careers, maybe genealogical research?

Well hot damn have I been busy!    First the icky stuff...  I do not do diaper changes.  No way.  But....  My niece was on the toilet and my mother was in my sister's basement.  I hear a voice from the bathroom.  It's niece asking me to wipe her tush.  She just turned 4.  I called out to mother who was going to oblige.  But niece had other plans.   Nonna absolutely was not to wipe her.  It had to be me.  Ugh.  So, I have overcome yet another life hurdle.  I lived through it.  Barely...  Right up there with picking up the garden snake last month.  A summer of accomplishments....

Next icky thing...  Hubby and I did some guerrilla gardening.  If you recall, when I did a certain spot last year, I found out I am insanely allergic to "ghetto palms".  So I suited up with pants, socks, elbow length gardening gloves, and a second pair over them.  Problem:  the gloves kept falling to my wrists.  I am now bubbly and oozy.  It itches like the dickens.  Thank goodness for my pool.  The cold water is so helpful.

The slaughter continues.  I thought I smelled animal poop in the garden.  It wasn't.  It was a disemboweled mouse.  Another one to add to the graveyard that is my alley way.  I mean, I love that there are cats around to keep the mice to a minimum, I just wish they would deposit the bodies elsewhere.

Now onto the good stuff....

I still have no idea the day or date.  Ignorance is summer bliss for a teacher.  My gardens look wonderful.  Phlox, butterfly bush, black eyed Susans, coreopsis, marigolds, chamomile, herbs and vegetables galore!  Considering the horrible weather, I am lucky the gardens are doing as well as they are.  I so enjoy grazing, working and picking something to eat right then and there....

And the summer of adventure keeps on going.  My friend and I have explored new and cool historic places, in town or a drive away.  Today we started Art Days at Casa Vasa.  It was a light start, but it got my creative juices going.  When you get bogged down with work and life stuff, it is hard to fit the art making in.  So we are doing it together.  I cut a piece of wood for her.  She started prepping it.  Then I went through my bin of oil paints and the tons of things I collect from the yard.  She'll be doing some mixed media painting while I combine my cast resin pieces and felting, and possibly some found objects.  We both agreed we were motivating each other.  Thank goodness for her.  

And the reading marathon continues.  I finished "The Lexicon of Labor" which was a dictionary regarding labor and unions.  Fabulous and informative.  I used to dislike unions until I had more experience.  People do not realize the protection that is needed until one finds oneself in a position that needs it.  Now, when I hear people complain about their association, I just tell them to get involved to make it work for them.  That's what I did at my job.  It wasn't the union that was bad, it was my colleagues who were running it.  When one reads the history of labor in this country, then looks at proposed legislation and items in the media regarding working people, it is hard to justify the dismantling of unions.  Oh, I could go on...

I would write more, but my arms are itching like hell and Millie needs to be fed.