The building ran out of tissues a couple of weeks ago.  This happens every year around allergy season.  However, this year it is particularly problematic.  That is because some colleagues need the tissues to wipe the sh*t off their noses.  I never have and never will be a butt kisser.  I wish said co-workers were the same.  It is nauseating seeing all the kissing up going on in meetings and e-mails.  I am tired of all the smooching going on in the "reply all" responses filling my inbox.  Meanwhile, those with the most brown dripping from their noses are trying to dig dirt up on those they kiss up to.  That is a game I will not play, regardless of the guilty parties trying to drag me into it.  I played that game as a means of fitting in and making my life here a bit better.  I was miserable and refuse to play anymore.  I have always felt that as a teacher, my hard work should be put towards what I do in the classroom and for the school community.  That is my focus.  If I ever do end up with an administrator that only wants kissing up and disregards my dedication and loyalty to educating my students and having a positive impact on their lives, so be it.

So I have been reading another book on education.  I do not consider myself an anarchist, but this book is on anarchist pedagogies.  And I am finding myself nodding to the first chapter an awful lot.  I just read about false hierarchies and abuse of authority.  The author breaks down how those ideals play out in society and the connection to the classroom is obvious.  Then, I have a student come to class and mention a teacher's power trip.  I do not give my opinion - I can't.  But I let the student know that I have different approaches to the classroom.  He lets me know he sees that.

This is Teacher Appreciation Week.  There are memes all over the internet about reflecting on the teacher that made the biggest impression on your decision to teach.  The thing is, no one did.  But I do remember enjoying the ones that had no power trip.  They spoke to the class as if were were to be respected, and we gave respect in return.  The class dialogues were more equal.  Yet, we knew we were not equal in many ways - age, knowledge, experience.  And we saw our teachers as people that had a great deal to offer us.  Those teachers on a power trip?  Relegated to the dustbin of my memory.

So then, when at the end of that period yesterday, when a little incident happens, and I lose my cool, my head is spinning.  Not because of what a student did and how he and another reacted.  My head was spinning because I did not have the time left in the period to properly address it - their actions, the possible consequences, and my subsequent reaction.  My concern?  That they leave with the idea that I pulled the position of authority bit.  I get colleagues who always say "Write them up!".  Yeah, you go do that.  But that rarely works for me.  And the kids admit that too.  My method derives from my political beliefs and my beliefs that we get along better in this world when we talk things out, when both sides are heard before judgments are made.  And so I prefer to discuss a student's behaviour with that student and why I have an issue with it.

Luckily, I happened to see one of the two in the hall the following period.  I told my side and I hope I was heard.  That's the part I have no control over.  But at least I tried.  You see, I would rather put all my energy into my job and the kids and creating a positive educational climate at this school than kissing my administration's butt.  The former is what we are supposed to do as educators.  The latter is what you do when you assume you are smarter than everyone else.