I have a student teacher.  This has made me realize how much of what we do is so second nature.  For instance, my eighth period is challenging, to put it mildly.  He was in need of some advice regarding how to deal with the kids who refused to sit and listen to the lesson.  We have begun digital and Photoshop lessons.  The kids think all they have to do is click buttons and make funny things with their pictures (I am sure this is what the majority of my colleagues think too).  However, it is not that easy.  We move in a progression when beginning digital.  By simply telling my student teacher to ignore those distractions and continuing with the lesson, he would see a different result.  He tried it.  After the end of the day he remarked how well it worked.  He observed that by ignoring the disruptive students, they realized they were not being catered to, they were not keeping up.  They were falling behind.  He noted that they "ran" to their computers to catch up on what they missed - and what was not being repeated - so they did not miss what to do.  Amazing.  We do so much that is just second nature.  There are snap decisions, immediate judgment calls, major pedagogical decisions that are made constantly, in a split second.  And those seconds can be the difference between a successful day or a bomb.  Things like this are why I have become more vocal about the little things teaching entails.  Friends and family might be sick of me, but no one knows any of this.

Another thing I have begun to do:  wear a pedometer.  Hubby found one cheap.  I wear it about every other day.  Since I have a student teacher, I walk far less right now.  However, I am still averaging three miles a day.  On Tuesday, he was out.  I had to teach but we are doing digital, so there was far less walking and none of the frantic running around in the darkroom.  Even so, I reached over five miles.  Damn.  Take that, friends and family who have said that teaching is a lot of sitting.

Now on to another topic...  I am reading through a student's research paper.  He has already submitted it, so I am not stepping on a teacher's toes.  The student had come to me for advice throughout the assignment and knew I would want to see the end result.  And he will be thankful.  And he will remain respectful of me because of the value he puts on the help I give him...  And this is why I prefer being with my students than most adults in this environment.  I had become someone a few people came to regularly for advice, feedback, and help with with ideas, projects, written items, etc..  Apparently they value my opinion.  So I find it odd that they so value my opinion and feedback in pedagogical issues, but that is as far at it goes.  When it comes to discussing other issues in a social setting, my opinion is disregarded quickly.  When topics having to do with drinking, drugs, political beliefs, or especially sports come up, my different opinion is smirked at, noted for being misguided, and no one has ever, not once, asked for background or reasoning.  When I have been in a conversation with them and they point out a factor that is counter to my idea, one I may or may not have heard, one I may or may not even agree with, I make sure to say something like "I never thought of that" or "That is an interesting point."  I have been lectured for my beliefs regarding the role of sports in school.  I had to endure a lengthy explanation and nasty internet exchange.  Was I asked where my belief comes from?  No.  As a matter of fact, I am the only one who has worked for a major sports organization.  I do indeed love a particular organized sport.  To give an idea of how little I am listened to, one of these people even said not more than a month ago "Oh yeah, I forgot you like basketball."  I have been lied to regarding someone's lack of sobriety at a school gathering with parents.  Who are you protecting?  I have been lied to about social gatherings I am not insulted for not being invited to.

The behavior is particularly juvenile and shows how little people are able to understand and respect other people's ideals, opinions, and experiences.  It also says a lot about how easily people throw around the word "friend" because friends do not do this to each other. You are probably thinking "What does this have to do with teaching?"  We deal with young adults going through what, to them, is a traumatic period of life.  The peer pressure to fit in and do as others do is immense.  We need to model understanding, open minded, good listening behavior for our kids. I am constantly reminded that the students are way more sensitive to our lies and truths than we think. If you cannot convey to a "friend" that you value her feelings, beliefs, and opinions, how can you possibly convey that to a student?  I overhear so many students talking about other teachers.  They are aware of those who pretend to care about them but in reality do not.  They smell BS a mile away.  As teachers, we do have to assume that we are held to a higher standard.  We also need to be way more open minded.  We cannot shut people out, shoot them down, refuse to listen to ideas or opinions we oppose.  If we cannot do that with each other, how are we successfully doing that for our students?  Some of my favorite teachers were wonderful people in and out of the classroom.  How did I know?  There were hints, clues.  I know they were great mothers, fathers, friends.  We all knew.  If you think you are superior to a "friend" due to your more enlightened ideas, teaching subject, life experiences, do not think for a minute that that attitude does not come through to your students.  It does.  Loud and clear.

Pledge

So there was a minor scandal recently.  We had no broadcast of our morning announcements via the TV as usual.  So our principal made them over the PA system, including reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.  Well...  he recited the original pledge as revised in 1923.  That's right.  He said it without "under God."  I noticed it and thought "Good on you!"  Other teachers heard it and needless to say, they did not think the same thing.

There were a few people who asked me if I noticed it.  I answered in the affirmative.  I also mentioned that "under God" was added relatively recently.  Well, one colleague said she remembered it in there her whole life.  I told her it was added after WWII.  In my mind, considering the long life of the pledge, that is relatively recently.  However, these people thought this was an abomination.

The "under God" was added in the 1950s due to the Red Scare.  I have read that the Knights of Columbus were the impetus behind President Eisenhower's request of the change.  This history site notes that the pledge's daughter did not approve of this change.

http://www.ushistory.org/documents/pledge.htm

So, there you go.  I am of a religion that does believe in God.  I do not give specifics because as public school teachers, we are to be mum on that and our political beliefs.  I also know that there are colleagues in my building who do not follow this rule (The guy who proudly hangs a pic of Ronald Reagan, but no other president; the gal who brought students to her church one Sunday, but I digress).  However, hearing my principal recite the pledge as it was intended did not offend my religious beliefs at all.  There are bigger things to worry about here, like near homeless kids, hungry kids, kids with no electric at home, kids who have lost a parent or both, and on and on. I sure wish my colleagues would put the energies somewhere more beneficial.

So I have to keep educating family and friends about what is going on in education.  We went out for lunch with the in-laws yesterday.  They live in Pennsylvania.  Hubby's mom asked what the heck was going on with education and already knew quite a bit.  She just wanted to hear it from a teacher.  I wish everyone was that well informed.

I have spent an inordinate amount of time explaining why teachers do what they do.  People immediately refer to the nerve a teacher has for doing or saying something.  They do not have any idea about the regulations and procedures we must follow.  The school is not taking care of something quickly enough or not doing anything at all.  The teachers are piling on the homework.  The school is doing everything wrong.

I do not ever recall making or hearing such complaints regarding other professionals.  (Except for those in food and retail, they get no respect).  I am getting tired of explaining my profession to others.  Exhaustion sets in when I hear a gripe and know that I need to speak up.  So why do I speak up?  Because we teachers have done our thing diligently but silently for years.  This has allowed us to be stepped on and scapegoated.  I need to speak up.  Every time a student complains about something "stupid" the school is doing, I stop and give the kids the facts.   I don't like it when the students are mistaken when it comes to policy and such.  They are fighting the wrong battles.

And speaking of speaking up....  It sure seems to me that there are a lot of ignorant people out there and some of my friends' comments and postings are getting to me.  So I have some acquaintances who believe in gun rights (or whatever you want to call it).  There seems to be no realization that an insensitive comment regarding the rights of gun owners and the right to have a school be a safe place are just not equal.  Some memories:  the frightened children in my subbing district the day after the Columbine shooting; seeing a guy run past me with a gun when working the student elections at William Paterson College; being threatened by a student.  I know the difference between hunting weapons and mass killing weapons.  I don't know why people cannot see the difference.  God forbid their "rights" are trampled on.  And the rights of the students, teachers, and school employees who have been killed?  Nah.

Some people even think it is funny to use the term "trenchcoat mafia" and "columbine" to describe or refer to a person's dress or look.  I try to let them know it bothers me, but who cares about a cushy teacher's opinion?  It is like my attempts to keep people from using the word retarded.  Whenever I hear jokey references to gun rights and school shootings, I crumble a little inside.  Non-educators don't know how that feels.  No amount of talking to people gets them to understand.  I stop the "retarded" comment easily in the moment, but those people still use the term, just not in front of me.

If I am having this much trouble with adults, am I having an impact with my students?  I am the teacher you can't use the word "gay" in front of.  But do they still use that word as a slur?  Not as much.  But the r word?  That is a tougher nut to crack.  Sure, we will be getting a big influx of autistic students here next year.  But what will that do?  On the outside, it looks like it will provide the students with more exposure to students with disabilities.  However, take a closer look.  They will be segregated (yes, I used that word) to the basement.  Way to go.  I educate a kid every time I hear a negative comment or insulting slur, but shoving these kids in the basement does nothing to help open the eyes of the student population.  Having colleagues who still use the word retarded does not help.  Yet another battle I am losing...

It seems like all the area schools have delayed openings....  Some are closed.  It stopped snowing well after dinner.  I think it stopped by me around 8 or 9.  How many people were going out to shovel that late?  Not me.  I had "Downton Abbey" festivities.  However, as hubby put it, given the way the year has gone, it would be wise to shovel during the snow since it would be too tough to shovel in the morning before work since I would most likely not get even a delay.  And so we shoveled way before it stopped.

So here I am at 7.12 am and I have been here since 6.12 as usual.  No delay.  OK, the roads by me were fine.  But I live in the San Francisco of New Jersey.  They always do a great job with the roads.  The sending districts here?  Well, we are lucky the kids make it to school in one piece.  No bus crashes yet this year.  Sure, the PARCC starts today.  But how smart is it to not have a delay due to state testing if all your kids can't make it on time to start the test at 8.04?  I can watch the line of parents dropping kids off from my dungeon.  Not a soul yet.  Will kids stay home?  If the other snowy days are any indication, attendance will be low today.  Snow day?  No, over doing it.  Delayed opening?  Most schools got it right.

So, I have been looking at the photo collages the P1 students completed last week.  Sometimes I need a day or two to take in the work before I grade it.  I need to absorb the results, mull over things, make sure I don't grade too harshly or too softly.  In period 1, many kids have yet to finish.  They had a month for this assignment.  In period 8, over half the class finished.  The senioritis is appalling.  I have been flexible with pushing due dates back when the work cannot feasibly done well in time.  This is a case of students just not working.  Laziness rules supreme.

I can hear a certain person's voice right now.  "Write 'em up!"  Oh, dear man, easy for you to say.  When was the last time you were in the classroom?  What does repeatedly writing misconducts do for the dynamic of the classroom?  How will that affect the relationship I have carefully cultivated with that person?  Nothing but negativity.  Some students don't even care if they are written up.  Hell, if the misconducts are planned right, the student might earn a free vacation, I mean a suspension.  And you are a fool if you think that doesn't happen.  I also get the more challenging students.  They are given to me because I do not judge them.  Is my classroom seen as a holding place for the more problematic ones?  I think so.  I talk to them, show them respect, urge them to try the projects, get them to stay out of trouble for at least 45 minutes.  Damn, some even do homework for me!  I get pissed when I put so much effort into them and they return the favour with laziness.  But to tell me to "write 'em up!" defeats the purpose of giving them to me to work with.

So I blew up on Thursday.  I know they are kids and I keep that in mind.  But I also think they need to see me get angry with them occasionally.  They need to see real results of their actions in a way that is not punishing (like taking away parking privileges) or hurtful or too sappy.  And now I have to look at the mess that is this last project.  Do I move this assignment to another point in the year?  Impossible.   Analogue needs to follow in an orderly fashion.  I cannot jump around the curriculum  It would be like asking them to do the motion Photoshop assignment before teaching them selections and layers.  Ugh.  Do I save the creative applications for the end of the year, after digital?  Is that too disruptive?  Things to think about.

I needed to take Friday off.  Bad week.  I am a person who takes good care of herself health-wise.  Mentally?  Emotionally?  Not so much.  I offer myself to anyone who needs me.  Need help with  lessons, student/parent/colleague issues, subject research, evaluation question, union issues?  Personal problems?  I am there for you.  Any time of day.  I have rarely turned anyone down no matter the request.  The only times I turn down helping someone is when it comes to a dearth of supplies - printing photos for people and such.

This year has been one of letdowns.  People I have given so much of myself to - and those I just do the odd favour for or have nice conversations with once in a while - have shown that I was wasting my time.  I rarely blow up at people, but have been snapped at regularly.  I have had "friends" go through some very tough times and made sure I was there for them.  I never pour my soul out to anyone - I am very private in some ways - but think people are sensitive enough to know how to treat each other.  Apparently I exist to be used for help and as a punching bag.  The fascinating part is that when I do blow up because I have had enough or I defend myself, I get a range of flimsy excuses.  These include:  I am too sensitive, I am taking it the wrong way, it is a 50/50 issue and I am half to blame.  The way people treat you is a reflection of how much - or little - they value you.  If they can lash out at you when barely provoked, are you valued or respected by that person?

As teachers, we encounter students with a number of issues.  Relationships with toxic people (as described above) is one.  I have encountered many female students who remain in relationships with males who use verbal abuse, control, guilt and other methods.  If I get an opening, I encourage the girl to speak to someone.  I also urge her to get out and tell her why she deserves to be treated with respect.  One thing many of us do not realize is that non-sexual relationships can be like this too.  Friendships can be toxic.  I am guilty of neglecting to advise students when I know they are in friendships that are no good.  Why is that?  Is it because I know I can't extricate myself from the same types of situations?  Maybe.

There are some people who are so used to being told how to treat others that they forget how to treat themselves.  Staying in non-reciprocal friendships is damaging.  It is a constant letdown.  The only time a person receives sympathy is when tears are shed.   But not all of us cry, or like to pull the tears card in public (yes, I do believe some people use that as a tool).  And if those feelings are due to a friendship, it is disregarded too easily.  If you wouldn't advise a female stay in a relationship with a partner who treats her like that, why would you expect her to take it from a "friend"?  Why is it so hard for people to treat each other with respect?  Why are so many people guilted into staying in friendships that are not equal or fair?

I like to present myself as a strong role model for my students.  I am a hypocrite if I stay in relationships that are no good.  I am also ignorant if I don't notice when my students are in friendships that are not good for them.  So, more work to do to improve myself and help my students.