Explanations

I bit the bullet and bought Rebecca Solnit's "Men Explain Things to Me."  I had read a few reviews and took the plunge.  You know a book is hitting close to home when you keep nodding furiously as you read.  The first chapter is the essay of the book's title, the one that started it all.  I might have mentioned this before, but I grew up isolated from sexism.  I never experienced what others had regarding inequality.  In my work I didn't, and that includes working in publishing in NYC, working for a major men's sports organization, and other school districts.  Then I came to my current job.  Whoa.

In the first chapter, Solnit describes an encounter with an elderly man trying to explain to her the necessity of reading a book on a subject the two are discussing.  The book happens to be written by her.  He can't fathom a woman has written the well-regarded book he is urging this little girl to read.  He can't comprehend what he is being told.  I have seen and experienced this here at work.  For example:

• the elder statesman who exists to teach you everything you need to know, 
• the man who dismisses your ideas as frivolous or un-doable and then takes it and proposes is as his own, 
• the men who tell you why your idea won't work using arguments refuted in your proposal, showing they never even took the time to read it,
• the man who pulls you aside to lecture you about why there are no women involved in an action or committee ("Do you have the experience?")
• the man who tells you to not be emotional, when really, you are angry enough to punch a wall,
• the man who doesn't listen to your whole statement, then explains why you are wrong, without really addressing your issue because he never listened to you in the first place.

And here, it runs the gamut from the top to the bottom....  The condescension, smarmy attitude, disrespect.  Many of the men here who have treated us like uneducated little girls are not who I would look up to.  They are men who have mail order advanced degrees (I went to a brick and mortar school for my MA, thank you, and graduated with a 3.985).  They have shown to be unreliable in duties (why can't they show up to something on time?).  They make commitments to committees and are no-shows (fabulous excuses).  They berate their female students/sports team members, making them feel inferior (How many hours have I spent counseling a female team member to not give up?  Way to go, coach).

There is a chapter on Virginia Woolf that almost lost me, until it got to art criticism.  I have one quote I will be using in Thursday's Photo I critique.  I started Solnit's book on Wednesday.  I expect to complete the book by tomorrow.  So much fuel....  

Another book I bought is about women artists and self-injurious behaviour (of all types) and self-healing.  Over the years, through the journaling and personal qualities of the projects in my advanced classes, I know there is much in this book I will be able to use in addressing my students.  The more the kids open up to me, the more I see that the condescending behaviour of my colleagues and superiors is not just an anomaly - it is a product of this area.  I saw it in my family but attributed it to the old timey Italian-ness.  I was very wrong.  There is something in the culture here that works to keep the women down.  I see it in my female students.  I hope to use what I am reading to figure out better ways to address this, and hopefully get the male students to reframe their thinking and oppressive, condescending behaviours.  A tall order, but I do not give up easily here.