Hooray!  I started making submissions to art shows again and three of my photographs will be going on display in a building in Dover.  That's good motivation to keep making art.I really did not think they would get in, so now I have to rush to get them framed.  I guess I can stop at Michael's on the way to getting my car tune up today.  I have to drop the work off on Saturday.  The only other day is Thursday, during work hours.

I still feel sick. Coughing, sore throat, little voice left, tired, achy, and phlegmy.  Woo hoo.  Just a big ole party in this package right here....  But that did not stop me from going out Friday night.  My friend had a major life event happen and needed to keep her spirits up.  I am really glad I didn't stay home.  We had a fabulous time, met a few more people, and enjoyed being surrounded by just good feelings.  A relief from the rest of the week.

So I just need to get some not very random thoughts off my chest, and since my guess is no one reads this, I thought I would give it a go.  I might hang out with a bunch of freaky looking people.  We listen to scary music, have funny colored/cut hair, wear odd clothes, there is always a bit of fishnet/striped/lacy/plaid clothing or stockings, the shoes are strange, and we dance funny.  But I will say this:  we look out for each other - friend, acquaintance, or just a familiar face.  And I will take that over a reactionary disingenuous judgmental person any day.

For instance, there was drama at work this past week.  This is the time of year that invites generosity, good will, celebrations with friends and family.  With one caveat: don't ask for help.  This is the only school I have worked in where I met so many people who were so brand conscious.  Newest Michael Kors wallet?  Check.  Fancy car?  Check.  Summer home?  Check.  Tons of money blown on drinks at a bar?  Check!  Pure breed dog to the tune of several hundred dollars over the puppy in the shelter?  Check!  Donate five freakin' bucks to defray the cost of the most lavish Christmas party spread in any school I have ever worked in?  Hell no!  Lucky for me, I was out sick the day the e-mails were flying.  I figured out what was going on and my hunch was confirmed by two affected staff members.  But Friday, I finally realized why I don't feel like I fit in here anymore.  I found out that the people I have been trying to see as friends are more concerned with gossip and rumours.  When I passed along the facts that refuted the rumours, I just got nowhere.  I think the preference for rumour and strife is more appealing to people than helping out or knowing the facts.  Granted, I do not always side with the department that is the subject of this week's ridicule, but this is a completely separate issue from the day to day workings.  I do not want to surround myself with people who thrive off gossip and rumours, to the point of not adjusting an opinion when given the facts.   I know how people make assumptions regarding one's intentions - hello to the coach who said I was lying when I told her the deadline for her sports' page in the yearbook - and this past brouhaha has just cemented things for me.  I would rather spend all my time helping my students during a prep or lunch, or eating said lunch alone than be a party to gossip, particularly when it hurts peoples' feelings.

And now the other thing to get off my chest.  (Sorry to the poor soul who might happen to be reading this.)  So some people seem to think that sex jokes, porno, and the like are funny.  From the time I was in high school, when I expressed dislike for that kind of stuff, I got the "Don't be such a prude" bit.  It continues to this day, but I learned to keep my mouth shut.  There are so many things people say in passing that I find so offensive as a female.  And the reasons for that are many and private.  The girl I mentioned a few posts back was at our hang out Friday night.  It turns out the reaction to the harasser was due to the fact that she had been raped once.  When a man behaves in that way, she shuts down.  Something later that night triggered something in her, and my friend and I saw her shut down.  She needed to go home.  We walked her to her car and talked until we could tell that she was in better spirits before seeing her off.  I kept thinking about how I am surrounded by so much flippant sex talk that is so triggering.  A person can get angry with me if I offend with a really benign comment (sports?  baldness? really?), but I - and so many of us ladies - have to keep our mouths shut about what offends and truly hurts us.  There is no balance.  I work so hard to teach my students to be mindful of what they say, who they say it around, how their words can hurt people.  I think the kids get it, but all I know is that when I see their post-graduation posts online, I realize they have learned nothing.  And heck, they are being taught by so many men and women who don't get it either.

Sorry for the poor sod who is reading this.  I just want a better environment for my students, niece, nephew, and friends.  I have been getting very distressed lately, and am trying to figure it all out....  And how to try to fix what I can.