NG

So I was looking myself up online - I do that because I am worried about scammers....  And I decided to look at the exhibit of travel photography that I was in last June.  I was on the website and noticed the Juror's Statement.  I never really looked at it....  June is such a crazy time of year for a teacher.  Well...

The Juror is a photo editor at National Geographic!  Sometimes I get real down on myself for being too exhausted during the school year to do much art.  That was like a shot in the arm.  I am so excited now.  I feel like I do have a chance to get more work out there.  I just need the energy.  Everyone tells me it is ok to take time over this vacation to do nothing.  However, to me, it is not ok.  This is time I could be spending submitting work, doing more work, looking up potential venues.

Oh, and there was a book put together with Blurb.  It included all work selected for the gallery exhibit as well as the online exhibit (mine).  So I ordered it.  Now I will have two books with my photography in them.  And I am going to get to work on a submission for the Hungarian Multicultural Center (Dallas) book arts exhibit in Budapest.  If I can get in that, I will be so happy.  That would make two exhibits with them.

Motivation?  Seeing a cool juror picked your stuff.  Wow.

Confession

So after we came back from Portland, Oregon a few years ago, I had trouble reading the atlas.  I was trying to figure out the route our plane took and what mountain ranges we flew over.  Lucky for me, I had something to help:  glasses.  But these were no ordinary glasses.  I had dug them out of the dirt at the post office some time before.  Hubby and I volunteer for a town group.  His big project was redoing the post office landscaping, if you recall.  When we pulled up the 40+ year old juniper bushes, I found reading glasses.  You know the type - Fosters Grant ones you get at the pharmacy.  Well, now I seemed to need them.  And I have been using them when reading at night...  For a few years. I have broken the frame twice, gluing it back together.  Sometimes one lens would fall out if I move the wrong way, but I am not a rambunctious reader, so no problem.

Well, at my fall physical, doctor says I should probably go for my first vision test since I am getting older.  He knows nothing of the post office glasses.  So I go for my test.  And I do indeed need glasses.  They are only for reading, and mostly at night.  I could not find proper, 50's style cat eye frames, so I got the closest I could to that style.  The guy at Costco - parents have an account there, not me - even used the word "cool" to describe how they looked.  Father told me I probably damaged my eyes with my stunt with the p.o. pair.  Oh well.  These are doing well, and I think I look pretty cool with them on.  It is odd having something on my face this much since I have decided to wear them when reading the computer too...

I also pulled my usual "You kids want to watch a Christmas video?  Here's your video" stunt with the Photo classes this year.  Some teachers play movies and such.  Not me.  Darkroom is set up so you better be developing and printing!  So I play the "Yule Log" video.  Yes, hubby found it on DVD.  You bet those kids worked this week.  Watching a crackling fire on the big screen can only entertain a teenager for so long.  Compared to that, developing film is a rip roaring good time.

And with that, Merry Christmas, Boldog Karacsonyt, Buon Natale, Joyeux Noel....  the languages of my family....

Talks

So if someone walked past the classroom, they would see a lot of talking, not much activity.  Last week was the week of discussions.  In Photo II we had the introduction of the Aesthetics project which I already told you about.  Then, later in the week, I had our first Photo I critiques.  I felt they were comfortable enough with each other to feel free to talk about each other's work.  Um, not exactly.  First critiques (I so detest the word "crit") are always torture, and these sure were.  In first period, there was one girl who was a bright spot.  She claims to have not wanted to take the class, but her insights into people's work was amazing.  She came up with things no one else did.  At one of two points, I could see people with that "Hmmm" look after she spoke.  Great job!

Then there was period 8.  My special class.  The class with the combination that should have never passed muster with Guidance - unless someone is trying to punish me.  Well, they would not pay attention.  Three conversations going at once.  Rude, disrespectful.  So, I did what I now do with certain groups - I ignored the side chatter and gave the attention to those taking part.  The participants get the benefit of a worthwhile class, the others, lose participation points and get the message when they see their grades. So far, it is the only way I have found that works with this bunch.  One of them has learned that when he works, I give him my undivided attention and help.  He has turned it around.  I hope the others will.

In Foundations, a couple of kids finished the exercises early.  So I winged it.  I grabbed a text book and sat with them and discussed some of the paintings that were described in the ditto exercises.  These were things like Josef Albers' Homages to the Square, Bridget Riley's Op Art, you get the idea.  Non-objective, colors, shapes, patterns.  The conversations were fabulous.  They were so deep that they were still talking to me as they left the room after the bell!  And one of the kids is someone who I noticed exhibits some tendencies to possibly fool around and get in trouble in the future, based on some comments he makes.  So I am making sure to redirect him in some sly ways.  I am scratching the surface to find what he is about, and hopefully it will work.  He was one of the kids in that fabulous modern art conversation.  Yesterday, I was working on straightening out the paint container drawers.  He was called out of the room and to have him set up to work when he returned would have been a waste given the time left in the period.  So I had him help me.  We chatted about where he used to live and then I moved it over to art 0 there is a famous art school in his old town - and got to talking about how he used to draw a lot.  He is great to talk to and I hope he gets back to drawing...  His ideas about life, culture, and such are developing and I don't want that stifled in him. He could turn out to be a special person.  We shall see.

Today, the Photo I Portrait Studio Shoots begin.  Not everyone shoots in one day.  Those not posing or shooting must assist.  This helps them get an idea of the possible job opportunities when starting out in the field.  I don't give a whole "Jobs" lesson.  Instead, I slyly slip it in with comments throughout the year.  I have encouraged them to bring in props and stuff.  Very excited for the rest of the week.  It will be chaos, but like my old boss at the NBA used to say, "This is what I like to call controlled chaos."

Big talks

So I spent three class periods with my Photo II classes just talking this week.  I introduced the "Aesthetics" assignment.  I used to split it up and they had to analyse the beautiful in one project, the ugly in another one.  Due to the extended/forced student testing, we will have massive disruptions to the school schedule later in the year.  So I have to adjust some things.  This assignment is one of them.  This year, they are combined as one and the students can choose which to address, or address both with the being a connection between the two.  So on Tuesday I had them read an old National Geographic article on beauty standards.  Last year, they breezed through it.  Meaning, they read nothing.  This year, I walked the room, watched them read, watched their body language and monitors to see where they were in the article, and made comments to them about what they were reacting to.  this let those who didn't want to read know that I might be asking them stuff.  So, most of them read it.  Although, I did get a few who said "Is this really ten pages?  Do we have to read ALL ten?"  No, I just want you to read one page and forget the meat of the article/  Jeez!

Well, the reactions were great!  Some very personal, some insightful.  (Hey, what happens in Photo, stays in Photo.)  I knew when I saw my rosters for this year that I was going to get work that was much more cerebral, and the discussions this week showed that.  For homework, they had to list ten things they find beautiful and ugly.  Many didn't do it, but none escaped telling the class.  The rushing of pens to paper was great.  The discussions were great.  And best of all, few answers were surface ideas.  Most were intangible things.  Qualities of life, people, society.  Everything I was hoping for.  Then, yesterday, we talked about our ideas and I showed the students all the studio equipment.  (My kids know what this stuff is, but the kids I didn't have in PI do not.)  If an untrained observer walked into the room, he would wonder why we were all sitting around talking and not working.  But this was work!  Hard work!  I told the classes that I want them to have clear ideas of what to shoot; do not create a narrative for me.  Take a broad topic and zero in on the essence of what it means to them as individuals.  Look up artists whose work epitomizes their own ideas, not to copy, but inspire.  For the first time, I think they truly get it.  Each year I look at what went wrong with this assignment - or what I wish was better - and tweak it.  Taking these three days might be the best way to carry the kids through.

Hooray!  I started making submissions to art shows again and three of my photographs will be going on display in a building in Dover.  That's good motivation to keep making art.I really did not think they would get in, so now I have to rush to get them framed.  I guess I can stop at Michael's on the way to getting my car tune up today.  I have to drop the work off on Saturday.  The only other day is Thursday, during work hours.

I still feel sick. Coughing, sore throat, little voice left, tired, achy, and phlegmy.  Woo hoo.  Just a big ole party in this package right here....  But that did not stop me from going out Friday night.  My friend had a major life event happen and needed to keep her spirits up.  I am really glad I didn't stay home.  We had a fabulous time, met a few more people, and enjoyed being surrounded by just good feelings.  A relief from the rest of the week.

So I just need to get some not very random thoughts off my chest, and since my guess is no one reads this, I thought I would give it a go.  I might hang out with a bunch of freaky looking people.  We listen to scary music, have funny colored/cut hair, wear odd clothes, there is always a bit of fishnet/striped/lacy/plaid clothing or stockings, the shoes are strange, and we dance funny.  But I will say this:  we look out for each other - friend, acquaintance, or just a familiar face.  And I will take that over a reactionary disingenuous judgmental person any day.

For instance, there was drama at work this past week.  This is the time of year that invites generosity, good will, celebrations with friends and family.  With one caveat: don't ask for help.  This is the only school I have worked in where I met so many people who were so brand conscious.  Newest Michael Kors wallet?  Check.  Fancy car?  Check.  Summer home?  Check.  Tons of money blown on drinks at a bar?  Check!  Pure breed dog to the tune of several hundred dollars over the puppy in the shelter?  Check!  Donate five freakin' bucks to defray the cost of the most lavish Christmas party spread in any school I have ever worked in?  Hell no!  Lucky for me, I was out sick the day the e-mails were flying.  I figured out what was going on and my hunch was confirmed by two affected staff members.  But Friday, I finally realized why I don't feel like I fit in here anymore.  I found out that the people I have been trying to see as friends are more concerned with gossip and rumours.  When I passed along the facts that refuted the rumours, I just got nowhere.  I think the preference for rumour and strife is more appealing to people than helping out or knowing the facts.  Granted, I do not always side with the department that is the subject of this week's ridicule, but this is a completely separate issue from the day to day workings.  I do not want to surround myself with people who thrive off gossip and rumours, to the point of not adjusting an opinion when given the facts.   I know how people make assumptions regarding one's intentions - hello to the coach who said I was lying when I told her the deadline for her sports' page in the yearbook - and this past brouhaha has just cemented things for me.  I would rather spend all my time helping my students during a prep or lunch, or eating said lunch alone than be a party to gossip, particularly when it hurts peoples' feelings.

And now the other thing to get off my chest.  (Sorry to the poor soul who might happen to be reading this.)  So some people seem to think that sex jokes, porno, and the like are funny.  From the time I was in high school, when I expressed dislike for that kind of stuff, I got the "Don't be such a prude" bit.  It continues to this day, but I learned to keep my mouth shut.  There are so many things people say in passing that I find so offensive as a female.  And the reasons for that are many and private.  The girl I mentioned a few posts back was at our hang out Friday night.  It turns out the reaction to the harasser was due to the fact that she had been raped once.  When a man behaves in that way, she shuts down.  Something later that night triggered something in her, and my friend and I saw her shut down.  She needed to go home.  We walked her to her car and talked until we could tell that she was in better spirits before seeing her off.  I kept thinking about how I am surrounded by so much flippant sex talk that is so triggering.  A person can get angry with me if I offend with a really benign comment (sports?  baldness? really?), but I - and so many of us ladies - have to keep our mouths shut about what offends and truly hurts us.  There is no balance.  I work so hard to teach my students to be mindful of what they say, who they say it around, how their words can hurt people.  I think the kids get it, but all I know is that when I see their post-graduation posts online, I realize they have learned nothing.  And heck, they are being taught by so many men and women who don't get it either.

Sorry for the poor sod who is reading this.  I just want a better environment for my students, niece, nephew, and friends.  I have been getting very distressed lately, and am trying to figure it all out....  And how to try to fix what I can.

Ugh

So, I am sicker than I have been in years.  It started with a sore throat Sunday night.  The "Downton Abbey" special was fine medicine, but I barely slept that night.  I woke up achy but had no fever so I went to work.  I got so much worse during the day that it was tough driving home.  I had my first ever eye appointment - the time I scratched my cornea while teaching sculpture doesn't count - and I was told I need reading glasses.  When I got home,  I took my temperature. I had a fever.  So, I am out today.  Teachers hate calling out.  It is not like any other job.  Sometimes you return to a disaster.  Most subs do not carry out your lesson plans,  to the point of claiming there were no plans.  They let kids use  materials you explicitly forbid them to use....  I could go on.  I have a couple of subs who cannot fill in for me because they do not know how to properly work with my more challenging students.  The most recent one is an ex-cop who, in a candid moment, told me some anecdotes that I would file under police brutality/illegal.  I kept my mouth shut. He told me not to look so shocked.  

So the good thing about being out today is that I can be here for our refrigerator repair.  Hubby didn't have to use one of his days.  And I am going to do some research for a better, more meaningful approach to my portraiture assignment for Photo I.  I have them watching a video on it today in advance of the assignment.  I want the project to involve some sort of examination or explorations of personality or situation.  I brought home a free video I ordered from Teaching Tolerance magazine.     Right now I am thinking Civil Rights era photos and the role they played in transmitting the message of the reality of life in the South for African-Americans.

Another idea I have relates to two things.  Aperture magazine had an article some time back on 20th century studio photography trends in some African countries.  With this Ebola propaganda/panic, I have heard some damn ignorant comments from the students. I really think they have no idea that Africa is a continent with over 30 distinct countries.  I might try to find a way to tie these two ideas together.  How do things like Irving Penn's staged portraits of "natives" from Vogue magazine frame our view of the continent and it's residents versus the reality and variety that truly exists?

I need to really work on this.  I get these grand ideas, do the research, run it by friends in and out of the field, and then get blank stares from the kids.  I want them to get it right then and there, not two or three days later.