So I rushed to Morristown to get more documents to scan for this volunteer job I am doing.  I have had a bit of anxiety over being the only one scanning drawers full of resources.  But I met the new gal they pay to do scanning and I feel so much better.  She seems quite capable.  But golly, the driving stunk.  South Street was worse than all of 287, and if you know 287 at 4.00 pm on a weekday, you know what I mean.

I have come to realize that the end of my teaching career may come sooner rather than later.  I have seen so much change - loss of respect, loss of benefits, barely any increase in pay, more time, less reward.  I love the kids and watching them grow and learn, but the peripheral stuff takes a toll.  I want to find a place where respect still exists, but I fear that is out of my reach.  I try so hard to model behaviour for the students but I am up against an awful lot.  The selfish attitudes increase each and every year.  There is little concern for each other or the faculty.  It has become very thankless.  I have been teaching for 15 years and thought I would retire from this.  I just don't think I can take it all the way to retirement.  Many of the great teachers have dropped out of the field.   Not that I am conceited and believe I am great.  I just feel like less of a failure knowing I am not the only one.

This makes me very sad because of how strongly I feel about what I do.  At least Millie is happy with me, purring on my lap.  I need to do a little more for myself... but first, Millie's dinner, practicing Hungarian, yoga class, and then PBS.  I know, exciting life....