Too Much...

I keep getting these e-mails....  Show your students' work here....  Upload images of their art to this site....  Apply for this special thingy....  Do this...  Do that...

Do they even realize how much work teaching is?  And now we have our work load increased exponentially due to state mandates and such with no extra time within the workday or extra compensation.

I see how it is where my husband works (Division of Developmental Disabilities, State of NJ).  If they have to put in extra hours, they are comped the time.  If there is an evening information session to go to, they are expected to rotate.  No one gets off scott free.  They are not expected to give of their free time, with no end in sight.  Why?  Burnout.  The field is acutely aware of the level of burnout in social services.

Well, that message has not gotten to some in education field yet.  I am finding myself falling asleep before 9.00 pm every night at this point.  I come in a bit after 6.00 am each morning.  I don't just hang out in my room.  I am preparing chemicals, grading work, researching, prepping new projects, planning...  Heck, we don't even have time four our formerly regular morning talks, when a couple of teachers would come to my room to talk shop.  I am not the only one this busy either.  Far from it....

But...

Not everyone is putting in the same amount of time.  I don't expect that, that's for sure.  But I have noticed that the dependable, reliable people are the ones always expected to do the extra favours, for free.  And those favours pile up.  I see it in my volunteer group team.  Those of us who are reliable and loyal are the ones given more tasks on the Design Team.  I guess it is ok for a group I choose to volunteer for.  I do it to contribute to my home community.  I want to do it.  If I cannot handle a workload, I can ask for help, no harm.  But on the job?  Not the same.

I see the same people on the committees.  The same people coming in early or staying extra for the kids.  The same people doing clubs.  The same people being given the higher stress/more responsibility duties.  The same people "asked" to volunteers for projects.  The same people "asked" for favours.  But that takes its toll.  Quickly....  If I am busy doing a task that is a favour for someone, that is time I am not available for my students.  I am not being compensated for my time, but it costs my students time with me.  I am being paid the same as someone else in my department or floor who puts in a fraction of the time, volunteers to do nothing, is never asked to help out....

Is this fair?  No.  However, on our McRel evaluation, the only community it pays any attention to is the school community.  I do not live here.  I do not have family here.  I have no personal connection to this area.  I love my job, I love my students, I love what I do.... But it is a fraction of the whole person.  I contribute in my own way in my home community.  I volunteer for the Morris County Trust for Historic Preservation by scanning documents.  Been doing that for a couple of years.  Before that, I was on my town's Historic Preservation Commission.  I am on my town's Main Street Design Team.  I do guerrilla gardening projects - fix up forgotten areas to help my town look nicer, without being asked.  I am relied on by my parents for a great deal - sister has two kids and don't get me started on how the procreators get out of ever being asked to help out.  I am a working artist and have had my work exhibited around the country and submissions take lots of time.  I am heavily involved in two area political groups.  I am a committee person for my political party in my ward in town.  I am heavily involved in my union.  I also have - believe it or not - a few friends I like to see once in a while.  Oh, and a niece and nephew who are just the best.

How can I have time for all this with all the extras "asked" of me?  How can anyone?  I am not a rarity.  I am not the norm, but I am far from the only one.  Not in this school nor in any other.  Yet this evaluation system only values what you do for this district, this community.  All that I offer to others in my life out of work contributes to who I am and models good habits for my students when I talk about it.  In looking closely, the only result in doing all that is "asked" will be rapid burnout.  I see it happening in online communities.  Teachers are dropping like flies.  I don't want to be next.

I am a teacher, but it is only a part of the whole person.  I am an artist, friend, aunt, wife, gardener, volunteer, music lover, hiker, traveler...  I can't forget that or let an evaluation or people or expectations take over my life.  There are no badges for living at my job.  No extra pay.  No awards - so far teacher of the year has proven to be a joke.  Just a loss of my friends, time with my family (can't remember the last time I saw my niece and nephew), and a selling of my soul.  I am not willing to do that.  Let someone else share in the responsibilities here...

Liquid Emulsion

Flexibility has been the key word with this assignment.  Luckily, the students eventually were able to dig deep and find material and events worth working with for the Personal Journey assignment.  However,  once we got to the liquid emulsion part.... Patience needs to take over.  So, the emulsion is not so compatible with the Eco-Pro chemicals we use.  The developer will bring up the latent image.  But it does something to the make up of the emulsion; sort of softens it.  We skip the stop bath.  Then once we go to fix it, it melts off.  If it does not melt off then, in the water it does.  Ugh.

So with some research, I found that I have to use Kodak developer.  Luckily, I have a bag of my own Kodak Dektol at home.  I brought that i, mixed half of the bag and it worked!  Now I need to have the kids cut the fixing time to practically nil.  To compensate for the resulting darkening, I have to have them underexpose the image.

Phew!

If this was last year's classes, the patience would have been gone and they would have given up on Monday.  But what a group I have this year.  They understand what is going on and know that this process is inherently hit and miss, so this seems to be taken in stride.    And we have gotten beautiful work so far.  The darkening of the image adds to the effect of the surface.  Very cool.

I am also psyched to finally (!) get notice on this art show at William Paterson University.  A former student gave me the connection two years ago, but the man in charge never got in touch with me.  Magically, I received an e-mail this weekend.  Woo Hoo!!!!!  And... they include a piece of art form the teacher.  Oh wow!  This excites me because it validates my opinion that we teachers should also be practicing our trade.  Someone bit my head off when I suggested we exhibit something of our own (note: only one) during the art show.  The kids love hearing that I do my own art, and that I exhibit it.  The fact that WPU does this show in this manner, well, it makes me feel better....

So I went to a great workshop a couple of weeks ago.  There are these new things we have to do - mandated by the state - and the questions we have are not being answered.  As arts teachers, we have a great deal to worry about.  We are seen as expendable and must do all we can to justify our programs' existence.  My district is one of the few that views arts cuts as a last resort and has not put them into action.  However, with new leadership coming, you never know what can happen....

With that, I was excited to share what I learned at this workshop.  My supervisor was too, once I let her know what I got from it.  I sent copies of the documents and model paperwork to all the other art and performing art teachers with a note to each.  My supervisor and I presented it to the curriculum director.  We were all happy with what I got out of the workshop.

Yesterday, I told my fellow teachers about it in a department meeting.  This stuff cleared up so many questions we all had - questions that no one (district, other teachers in the field) could answer because the state had no clue.  I was psyched.  I was helping my co-workers!

It landed with a thud.  The rudeness, indifference, and thanklessness was deafening.....  I should not have been surprised.  No matter how anyone treats me, I continue to try to present ways to help them and the department.  But the lack of a "thank you" or "this helps a lot" or anything bothered me.  As I said at the beginning of speaking, we do not know what we will get with a new superintendent.  This person might deal with different quality work from other districts.  The SGO's I shared were phenomenal.  Why wouldn't anyone be happy to have that given to them as a template?

We don't have to be chums, but we can be respectful colleagues.  Ten plus years of this....  I will keep striving for the best evaluations and performance and results in my classroom, share with those who are appreciative, and teach my students enthusiastically.  However, yesterday added to the list...

Do I dare touch on the response to reviving the Art History program?  Nah.....

Smoke out

So I don't smoke.  I have a number of reasons....  One that hits home for most people is the expense.  When I was 14 and worked at my uncle's deli, the cost was $1.50 a pack.

So I guessed that a student I have smokes.  I asked, he said yes.  I didn't go into the health issues, the stuff about Big Tobacco, the effects on the leaf pickers.  I asked how many packs a week.  He said one.  I asked how much a pack costs, multiply that by 52, and think about how much that costs per year.  I said I use that amount to buy my plane ticket to Europe.  Smoking cigarettes vs. traveling in Europe?  Easy choice for me....

So two days later, the students comes to my desk after I take attendance.  He said the he is going to try to quit smoking because of what I said.  Whoa!!!!!  Made me want to grin form ear to ear.  I hope he is successful.  I can pass along helpful hints from my friend.  Her sister quit cold turkey this summer....

The next day, in a Photo II class, a few of us were in the darkroom.  One of the kids said I am the best teacher he's had.  I told him he can kiss up all year but it will have no effect on his grade.  He said, will all sincerity, the same thing.  I felt so happy and went into typical Melanie mode and shied away from a compliment.  I did say thank you.  I tell the kids all the time how much I love teaching them.

Then, on my way to the car after work, a GSA member passed some information on to me.  A teacher had said something negative about me and the other advisor.  A teacher I thought we had a good relationship with.  It felt like a kick to the stomach.  I played it off with the student and told her not to worry about it.  And proceeded to drive home sad and in shock.  The words from that student in PII were the only things that got me through the night....

So to keep from letting the negatives of the job get to me, I am making a concerted effort to not let my personal happy things get pushed to the side.  My friend and I regularly go out, socialize and make art together.  I am making sure I get through the non-education related reading that piles up from September to June.  I am also trying to find other outlets that relate to me as a person, not me as Mrs. Vasa.  Luckily, my friend is there to help motivate me...

Changing Things

So I have become kind of frustrated with that lack of deep thinking in the students' photography.  I thought about it a lot this summer.  So for the first new shooting assignment in Photo II, I decided to inject what I learned after my visit to the Holocaust Museum and reading a survivor's book.  For the liquid emulsion assignment, the students are to shoot a bit differently.  They are to examine an event that changed things for them - positive or negative.

As a warm up, we did an activity form the museum's website.  They looked at pictures from WWII Germany, with no captions.  They answered questions.  Then, they received the images with the explanatory captions and answered another set of questions.

We talked about how what one knows and one's life experiences can affect one's reading or interpretation of a photograph.  They are to consider this when they shoot.  What will the viewer know or not know?  How will you address the possibility of misinterpretation or will you at all?

There came a point after I told them their assignment that they were all quiet.  Confused.  The silence was awkward, but I let it go.  I wanted the ideas to sink in.  Then, slowly, the questions started to come....  They started to get it.  One said this was going to be hard.  I could tell the wheels were turning....  And I was happy.  I feel like my plan is working.

I was also being observed and that always causes the kids to clam up.  I never let them know beforehand when I am being observed, so I guess they are shy or scared.  But when my department head left, the conversation picked up.  I told them I am tired of seeing the same pictures of the tank in the park in the center of town.  Why take that picture?  Because it is there.  I want their pictures to mean something to them.  Some were clearly ready to shoot and took cameras.  Others will wait, and that is ok.

New things

I am introducing an alternative process in a new way tomorrow.  I am using the work of a Holocaust survivor as the sample artist.  Before showing her work, I am using a photo activity from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum (USHMM).  This is a big thing for me.  I am tired of hearing the kinds of ignorant comments I hear year after year.  Then, I see the students do not learn to think more compassionately or open-mindedly once they get to college.  I find that many adults are no better.  For instance, upon hearing that one of the candidates for super at my job is Jewish, the thoughts of some were that we might get Jewish holidays off. (!)  My first thought was that it would be an opportunity for the community and school to know someone who is not just like them.  (Yes, there are still people out there who are clueless when it comes to other beliefs.  Someday I will tell you about my neighbour).

We do have a class on the Holocaust and genocides, but I don't know that much of the stuff sinks in.  There are still so many kids who continue to use such hate-filled speech as they grow up.  The still stereotype.  They still generalize about populations.  I always feared touching on these types of things because I thought I could be misconstrued as being political.  However, our new evaluation system has markers for that type of education.  Fabulous opportunity!

When I went to the USHMM in DC this summer, I was prepared.  I had been to the Terror House museum in Budapest.  That museum is in the building that housed the fascist organizations responsible for many tortures and killings, even occurring in that building.  The presentation of the history from fascism's rise in Germany to the Soviet "rescue" of Hungary, to the eventual departure of all Soviet presence in Hungary was brutal.  The museum warns that it is not suitable for young children.  It shirks away from nothing.  As a visitor, you cannot avoid anything - images, audio, video, etc..

This is not what I experienced at the USHMM.  I found it way too easy to avoid the most moving, horrible stuff.  I watched as so many people walked right past some of the most upsetting, graphic video footage, photographs, writings, and audio.  There we were, the same 10 or so people taking it all in.  I kept encountering the same visitors all the time.  Just several of us really taking the time to learn and observe what was presented to us.  How many hundreds of others just breeze on through, day after day, just so they can check it off their lists, tell everyone they were there?  What a disgrace.

I know from talking to family who had been there when it opened that the floor arrangement and exhibits are laid out differently now.  I wish they could change the exhibits and flow of people so that the harder stuff could not be ignored.

I guess that's why I made sure I altered a project so that I could address this time frame.  It's like the kids really don't get it.  I want them to get it.